Setting up the linux box was not easy, but it was easier than I have expected. I tried fedora first but it was running slow maybe because of the low specs. Then I tried debian with a minimum install. With that minimum install I still had to install gnome. That was pretty easy because of the apt-get of debian.

Expanding my idea of a website on my own, I wanted to make a blog using flash. I learned flash for a few days, experimented with a few .flas and as. But I soon learned that integrating a blog into flash was really not easy. There are very few options how to do it and even succesfully doing it had its problems. The only flash blog I have seen was http://www.ssdesigninteractive.com/ssdesign/?page_id=84 but its currently down and I havent seen it. The author of that site made a flash front end available at sourcefourge. http://sourceforge.net/projects/flash-blog/

So… I think I will just be using wordpress but not the web based wordpress but I will be installing wordpress on that new linux box then work my way from there. Then I would just add a flash home page to the site linking to my blog and maybe other stuff. I think this would be better because the only reason I wanted to do this was for me to learn more computer “stuff” and doing this would allow me to work on html, css, flash, php, mysql, and other things instead of just focusing more on flash.

Oh well. To sum it all up, I’m tired of doing nothing in my life and I guess this is a good start for a better me. I hope.

Mahirap sumobra sa kailangan.

Malulunod sa kinabukasan.

Mahirap pumantay ang itim at puti.

Kapag ang kalaban mo ay ang sarili.

Ok lang at may panahon pa.

Umahon sa maling sistema.

~tanga

Causality.
Everything has a cause. Everything we do has a cause. When we choose, our choices our bound by the intricate details of causes. I am writing this because I have been thinking about this topic for awhile because I have watched Matrix again and I have watched Matrix again because I saw a torrent of it and I saw a torrent of it because I was bored and wanted to look for a movie because… The sentence of life is an endless because.

Are we but dominoes falling as the former falls into us? I have been thinking of this for almost a week now and I really cant find any answer but the obvious one – ‘yes we are trapped in an illusion of freewill’.

Another cause of me writing this is to have closure so that I could once forget it and live my life without thinking of the intricate cause and effects that are happening. The only good effect to think of causality is to somehow prove God’s existence.

~towastesecondsoftimeortobeacauseforsomethingunknown

1st Single : “Anna Molly”
WINMEDLOW WINMEDHIGH REAL QT

Pero ngayon, pano ngayon? Nalaman ko na ang iyong tunay na pakay. Mangloloko ka. Papatayin mo ko sa iyong panggagago. Mga sinungaling mong sarap na akala mo maganda na lahat pero yun pala sinasaksak ka na sa likod. Oo nandyan ka palagi, pero nandyan ka ba nung sinakal mo ko at akoy muntik ng mamatay? Mahirap magmahal kapag hinde ka pala mahal. Ginamit mo lng ako para sa ano? sa piso pisong pagibig? Nasayang lang lahat ng ginastos ko sayo. Hinde ka pala karapatdapat mabuhay kasama ako. Sinabi ko na ito lahat dati at alam kong pabalik balik ako sayo. Wala ako magawa, mahal kita, pero enough is enough, ika nga nila. Sana lang mawala narin ang aking pisopisong pagibig para sayo at akoy maging malaya na.
Ayoko na. Ayoko na yosi.

~jupi

hahaha ang drama.

ok ill fucking do it.

higher & higher they come
darker & darker the sun

tinted black window
i know it will be my fall
unknown will be my tomorrow
but still ill take heed the call

higher & higher the goal
deeper & deeper I go

I dont care bout you!
I dont care bout me!
when I look through this window
I’ll just cry and bleed…

(very old photoshop painting I made. my favorite).

(pinapangit ng wordpress. tinatamad nako ayusin -*-)

~jup

ang mawalan ng tunay
nawawalan ako!

chong dude pare!
nandito ka palagi
sa mga kantang naisulat mo
chong dude pare!
kaw na ang may sabi!
dito ang yong mundo!
chong dude pare!
maligo ka palagi
amoy ka hangang dito!
chong dude pare
tulad na ng dati
sana ang ikot ng mundo!

umikot na ng todo
ang kamay sa plato
hanap ka
ang mga tawanan
di malilimutan
HAHAHAHAHA!

sa gabing ito
at sa gabing iba
naalala ka
ang kapatid na nawala

chong dude pare
nandito ka palagi
sa mga kantang naisulat ko

No, I don’t have an idea on how to do magic nor does this post have anything to do with magic tricks. What I’m referring to in this post is the Magic the Gathering card game. If you don’t have an idea on the game try surfing it on the net, its really a cool game!

I have learned Magic when I was in highschool and if not for its high prices I would maybe have still played it up to today. The prices for each card reach thousands and building decks will really bottom out your wallet! It was the only problem I saw with Magic and it led me to forget the thought of ever playing it again. It was just discouraging not to get the cards you want because of the fact you just cant afford them -*-

But with this problem I came up with the idea of creating a free lan based Magic the Gathering computer game! If one would create a free game like this, there wont be a need to pay anything just to play Magic! If you think about it, if you have a database of all the cards in Magic and you know all the rules, making the game is very possible! The biggest hurdle would be to get the list of all cards, including their details(mana cost, type, rule text, etc.) but if you would be able to get those list of cards then it would be as relatively easy as making a poker game! Now, I have thought of ways to get those list and it turns out I think wizards.com(makers of Magic) has a search page for all cards. I think with a little bit of expertise in web programming, maybe someone could gather all the cards from this page and maybe export it into an xml file or any kind of format. I would not know how to do this but I think this is very feasible but of course its definitely not easy.

Now if any bored person is reading my blog who knows how to do this and has a lot of free time, maybe you could give life to this little idea of mine. Share your knowledge and make Magic the Gathering enjoyable for me again (very unlikely, but its worth a try :p)

I guess it would be stealing and pirating the game, but still!!!! Damn Intellectual property rights things.. -*- haha! Well is it still stealing if the game is freeware? oowweell.. dats ol.

~jup

Sarcastically beautiful:

Kudos.

Or.

Hilariously Stupid.

HAHAHAHAHA!.

~me

undesired.

cold.

ketchup.

~magaling na makahula nito.

~baBblinG foolish ghost.

Where will I be? I am nothing but a speck in a sea of sparking neurons. Will I rise? or will I stay afloat? Who am I to fly? Who am I to reach the unlimited eyes? I am nothing but a man, a clone of others, repeating the cycle, a grain in the sands of time.

One line in these messages says “What have you got to lose?”, well, you have just lost a few minutes of your time reading and sending it. You also have just wasted the recipient’s time going through your very unnecessary email. In fact you have just wasted my time by forcing me to rant on this post.

Stop wasting time, be smart, stop emailing junk. FUck.

~tae

-*-

I wish that people can reformat their brains and backup their memories easily into any form of storage just like a computer. The implications of that would be endless. Good bye to fucked up memories of childhood woes. Good bye to remembering sadness. Good bye to near death experiences that traumatize people. Good bye to irritating disputes and quarrels. In a jist it would be good bye to bad history. But would we be happy?

Dont we always say that you would only see the importance of a thing when its gone? If that is the case, if we could remove awful memories, would we begin to see their significance inspite of their absence? Would we begin to see that we have lost something necessary even if it is drastically an awful memory? If that will be, we could say that losing our sadness would make us sad. Now isnt that sad? It seems we cannot excape sadness.

Unless ofcourse we could also forget the ‘act’ of deleting these awful memories. With this we will never now we even ‘had’ those memories. Just like in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, where Jim Carey’s character chooses to forget and remove every memory about her exgirlfriend. In the story he was neither happy nor sad. He was just who he was before his ex came into his life.

Would all these be a good thing? Would’nt we lose a part of ourselves? and a part of our life? Would’nt we be shortening our lives by removing a portion of our lifetime? Would it be better to have a short but a happy filled life than to have a long but rocky ‘ups and downs’ kind of life?

I’m Dilly Dallying (is the spelling right? is there even such a word?).

-*- time to reformat. -*-

~bAbBLiNg foolish ghost

she looks down
and cries on everyones eyes
but stupid blind man
sits and whines
while stupid blind man
drinks blood from her vines

i.. see.. the tears
but im helpless today
i.. breathe.. your breath
yet i choke you with greed

mother’s weeping
and she’s been betrayed
by the useless man
and their wasteful ways

she is burning
from this pain
that stupid blind man
has done to her face
while stupid blind man
lies on his grave

i.. see.. the tears
but im helpless today
i.. breathe.. your breath
yet i choke you with greed
we.. dont know..
we are dying.. suiciding

~flooding rains~
~burning rays~
~we are to blame~

Born with this condition fighting for air
Scared to drown in a waterless where
Forced to be reliant taught to be weak
Forever will I choke? freedom I seek
I walk with people untied by this burden
envious me asks why I was chosen
Where will I be as matters get worse
I’m tired of living in this blasted curse

Im tired of this life
when two curses collide.

Do Not Think. Do you think you can? No one can stop thinking. And this will be my thinking box. An “online” repository of ideas, thoughts and everything else in between my ears. To others its a blog, a diary, to me its an eternal search for the reality that hides beneath the charade of smiles, frowns, and anything else in between. In this piles of thoughts, piece by piece, the puzzle will unfold. Each letter, each word, will be me. An attempt to unmask the ghost within. Incoherence is in me.
~babbling foolish ghost